“Because I said so!!”
How many times did your parents say this phrase to you? How often were you spanked as a child? How much yelling was there in your house growing up?
It’s safe to say that parenting styles have changed over the years. While spanking may have been deemed okay years ago, most parents agree now that hitting a child is not okay, for any reason. Shame and yelling are also, thankfully, out of fashion.
Many of today’s parents are trying to use positive parenting techniques instead.
What is Positive Parenting?
Positive parenting refers to a parenting style that relies on warmth, nurturing, and mindfulness. This type of parenting reinforces good behavior and avoids using harsh forms of discipline.
Positive parenting has been shown to facilitate numerous favorable outcomes. It has been linked to better grades in school, better behavior, more positive self-concepts, less substance abuse, and better overall mental health.
Strategies for Positive Parenting:
Positive Parenting has three main components:
1. Regulate Your Own Emotions
How often have you had a bad day at work and yelled at your kids when you got home? It is very common for parents, either consciously or unconsciously, to take their bad emotions out on their children.
To parent positively means you have got to get a hold of your own emotions so you only interact with your child in a kind, loving, and honest manner.
2. Focus on Strengthening the Parent-Child Connection
It can be easier said than done, but each interaction with your child must strengthen the connection between you both. When a parent-child connection is strong, the child will feel safe and be able to trust.
With positive parenting, you learn that you cannot control your children. You can only influence the and the strength of your influence is based on the health of your relationship. You will move from being controlling to being in charge.
3. Love Your Child Unconditionally
Many punishment techniques throughout the years rely on a parent “withdrawing” their love. This happens in a typical timeout. Conditional love can cause great emotional and psychological harm to your child. Instead, focus on being a coach and mentor to your child, offering them loving guidance and reassurance to help them manage their emotions and behaviors.
Contact Abby:
It can also be very helpful to get some help from a family therapist who can help guide you in becoming the loving and compassionate parent you want to be.
If you would like to explore counseling options, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Call (626) 755-4059 for a FREE, 20-minute phone consultation. Let’s co-create a plan of healing for you or your family.
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