If you are a parent of a 2e child, you know the challenges go beyond simply finding a way to support their unique abilities. Your child’s gifts may go unnoticed because their struggles overshadow them, or you might feel alone as you search for the right way to manage their emotional dysregulation and learning challenges. In this article, we’ll explore the intricacies of 2e children, why they need a specialized approach, and how my work in interpersonal neurobiology-focused therapy and polyvagal therapy can offer your family the support you need to navigate these challenges with confidence.
Asynchronous Development: The Struggles of Being 2e
One of the most difficult aspects of parenting a 2e child is the reality of asynchronous development. Your child might be highly advanced in certain areas, but their emotional regulation, social skills, or ability to manage day-to-day tasks might be underdeveloped. You may find yourself wondering why your brilliant child can’t seem to control their anger, focus in school, or make and maintain friendships. This gap between cognitive ability and emotional maturity is common in 2e children and can create intense frustration—for both the child and the parent.
You may feel like you’re constantly putting out fires—whether it’s an emotional meltdown over something seemingly small or struggling with teachers who just don’t understand why your child’s academic performance doesn’t match their intellectual potential. It can feel as though no one is really seeing your child for who they truly are.
Why Choose Family Counseling for 2e Children?
As the parent of a 2e child, you are no stranger to the feelings of isolation, confusion, and helplessness that often come with raising a child who is both gifted and challenged. Traditional parenting advice or educational models often fall short, leaving you without the tools to support your child’s emotional, social, and academic needs in a way that feels effective. You might be constantly questioning whether you’re doing enough, if your child is going to get the support they need, and whether they’ll ever feel truly understood.
Family counseling specifically designed for 2e children can offer the emotional support and therapeutic interventions necessary to understand your child’s unique development. It’s not about “fixing” your child; it’s about meeting them where they are, helping them regulate their emotions, and creating a safe and supportive environment for them to thrive.
Interpersonal Neurobiology and Polyvagal Therapy for 2e Families
In my work with families of 2e children, I focus on integrating interpersonal neurobiology and polyvagal theory to help support both the child’s cognitive development and emotional regulation. These approaches are grounded in the understanding that a child’s nervous system plays a significant role in how they respond to the world around them. For many 2e children, heightened stress and anxiety can create emotional and behavioral challenges that often go unnoticed or misunderstood.
Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) emphasizes the importance of attuned, nurturing relationships in the development of the brain and nervous system. For your 2e child, this means creating a safe, consistent, and emotionally secure environment where they can develop emotional resilience and regulation skills. When parents are supported in creating such an environment, it helps to reduce stress and support healthier brain development.
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, focuses on how our body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS) responds to stress and social engagement. For 2e children, who often have heightened fight, flight, or freeze responses, understanding how to regulate the nervous system is essential. Using techniques grounded in polyvagal theory, therapy can help children calm their nervous system, improve emotional control, and engage more effectively in social situations. This approach is invaluable when traditional strategies often fail to address the root causes of behavior and emotional dysregulation.
Connect with Abby – Find the Support Your Family Needs
Parenting a 2e child is hard. You’re constantly managing your child’s complex needs while also navigating the emotional toll of trying to support them in a world that doesn’t fully understand their uniqueness. You might feel exhausted from constantly trying to make sure that they’re getting the right help or wondering if there’s even a way to bridge the gap between your child’s potential and their struggles.
If you are looking for specialized support that recognizes the unique challenges and strengths of 2e children, I am here to help. I offer a free, hour-long phone consultation to make sure that I am the right therapist for you and your family.
(626) 755-4059
This consultation will give us the chance to discuss your child’s unique situation and challenges, and for you to get a better sense of how my interpersonal neurobiology-focused therapy and polyvagal therapy approach could benefit your family.
You don’t have to face this alone. Let’s work together to ensure your 2e child gets the support they need to thrive—emotionally, socially, and academically.
Schedule your free consultation today. Together, we can create a path forward that nurtures your child’s unique abilities while addressing their emotional and developmental needs.
My Motto: I help parents become the healers in the home.
FAQs: What Parents Like You Want to Know
How is this different from traditional therapy?
Instead of focusing on behavior modification, this approach is rooted in nervous system regulation, connection, and co-regulation. When a child feels truly safe and connected, their ability to manage emotions and behaviors improves naturally.
Why does my 2e child have such big emotional reactions?
2e children experience the world with deep sensitivity. Their nervous systems often operate in fight, flight, or freeze mode, making emotional regulation difficult. Rather than seeing their reactions as over-the-top, we focus on understanding their stress response and building co-regulation strategies that help them feel safe and supported.
Why do traditional discipline techniques not work for my child?
Because 2e kids often function from a state of heightened stress, punitive measures or traditional discipline approaches can make things worse. Instead of “correcting” behavior, we focus on creating connection, understanding sensory triggers, and building skills for self-regulation.
How can I help my child manage school-related stress and frustration?
Many 2e children feel misunderstood in school environments. We’ll explore strategies for self-advocacy, executive function support, and emotional regulation to help them navigate the challenges of a traditional academic setting.
Do you offer virtual sessions?
Yes! I work with families across California through secure online sessions, making it easier for busy parents to access expert support without additional stress.
What happens in the free consultation?
This is a no-pressure, hour-long conversation where we talk about your biggest challenges, what’s worked (or hasn’t), and what kind of support would make the biggest difference for your family. You’ll walk away with clarity on next steps—whether that’s working with me or finding another resource.
What Others Are Saying
" Abby is a truly gifted family therapist with decades of experience helping children and families through their darkest days, and the courage to bring both her humanity and expertise to her sessions everyday. I got to know Abby over the course of a full-year intensive training program for helpers who support parents, and she has since become one of the colleagues that I trust most to go to for professional consultation about my own work with clients. The amazing work she is doing to help parents become the healers in their families is inspiring, and so needed in the world. Her demonstrated lifelong commitment and specialization in teaching parents new ways of understanding their children's most challenging behaviors, combined with her sensitivity and awareness that parents of children with big behaviors are seeking practical tools and strategies that actually work, make her one of my favorite clinicians to refer clients to. You and your family are in good hands with Abby! "
Gina Kanagawa, LMFT, ATRBeing With Advanced Practitioner
Life as the Mother of a Gifted Daughter