We Are Wired for Love and Belonging: A Therapist’s Reflection on Connection and Healing
A Universal Truth: We All Long to Belong
After over thirty years as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and just as many as a recovering strict parent, I’ve come to believe this truth deep in my bones: all people—especially our children—are wired for love and belonging. Biologically, cognitively, emotionally, spiritually… connection is not optional. It’s essential.
I’ve sat with thousands of stories in the therapy room. I’ve listened to parents struggling with explosive behaviors, kids retreating into isolation, families stuck in painful cycles of misunderstanding. Beneath the surface of every story is the same need: “See me. Know me. Stay with me.”
In my own parenting, I used to believe that firm rules, predictable structure, and clear consequences were the most important things I could offer my kids. What I didn’t know then was that emotional safety—the kind that calms the nervous system and creates real trust—was the true foundation for growth and healing.
The Turning Point: From Strict to Attuned Parenting
Shifting from strict to attuned parenting wasn’t a one-time decision. It was a practice. A re-learning. A slowing down. I began to see that the very moments I used to respond with discipline—when my children were melting down, acting selfish, angry, or disconnected—were the exact moments they needed me the most.
They needed my nervous system to be their anchor. They needed my calm presence to regulate their overwhelmed bodies. That’s co-regulation in action.
Instead of reacting with frustration, I learned to pause. To breathe. To kneel down, look in their eyes, and say, “I’m here. I see you. We’re going to get through this together.”
This is the heartbeat of the work I now do with families through online family therapy in California. I guide parents to become that safe, steady presence for their children—even in the chaos. Especially in the chaos.
What Happens in the Nervous System Matters More Than We Think
When kids are dysregulated—yelling, defiant, withdrawn, or full of big feelings—it’s easy to label them as difficult. But so often, those behaviors are simply a dysregulated nervous system doing its best to survive. Many of the families I work with have children who come from hard places, including early developmental trauma, adoption, or neurodivergence. These kids aren’t trying to be bad. Their brains are trying to stay safe.
That’s why I work with parents to understand how their own nervous systems impact their parenting. When a parent stays regulated, grounded, and emotionally available, it sends powerful cues of safety to a child’s brain. Over time, these repeated cues help rewire the brain toward connection and away from protection.
This is where online family therapy in California becomes transformative—not just for the child, but for the parent too. It’s about interrupting old patterns and creating new pathways, not only in how we behave, but in how we feel.
The Power of Repair: Healing Family Trauma from the Inside Out
In families with developmental trauma, ruptures are common—but they’re not the end of the story. In fact, it’s the repair that holds the most healing. When parents can return after a difficult moment and say, “That was hard. I lost it. I love you. I’m still here,” they are building secure attachment. They are modeling emotional safety.
Through trauma-informed therapy integrated with interpersonal neurobiology and polyvagal theory, I help parents understand what’s happening in their child’s brain and body. We use gentle, body-based tools like movement, rhythm, breathing, and story to restore regulation and foster a felt sense of safety in the parent-child relationship.
This work isn't about fixing your child. It's about becoming the safe, connected leader your child needs to heal and thrive.
Why Online Family Therapy in California Works
As a virtual practice, Welcome Home Family Therapy offers the flexibility and accessibility of therapy that meets you where you are—literally and emotionally. Whether you're a busy parent balancing work, school, and chaos, or you're in a part of California without easy access to specialized care, online family therapy in California allows us to connect deeply without the barriers of distance or commuting.
It’s convenient, but more importantly, it’s effective. And the safety of your home often creates an ideal setting for this healing work to begin.
Ready to Reconnect? Call Abby
If you're longing to heal your relationship with your child—if you’ve tried everything and still feel like something’s missing—I want you to know: you're not alone. There's nothing wrong with you. And it’s not too late.
If you're open to learning a new way of being with your child—one built on empathy, attunement, and connection—then I invite you to reach out.
Call Abby at (626) 755-4059 I offer a free, hour-long phone consultation to see if I’m the right therapist for you or your family. Visit www.welcomehomefamilytherapy.com
My motto: I help parents become the healers in the home.
FAQs About Online Family Therapy in California
What is online family therapy in California?
Online family therapy allows you to meet with a licensed therapist via secure video sessions from anywhere in California. It’s convenient, effective, and designed for families who want support without the hassle of travel or scheduling around a commute.
Can online therapy really help with family trauma?
Yes. I use trauma-informed therapy approaches rooted in neuroscience and attachment theory to help families heal from developmental trauma. When we understand what’s happening beneath the behavior, we can begin to change it.
What age children do you work with?
I work with parents of children of all ages—from early childhood to adulthood—especially when those children are neurodivergent, adopted, or impacted by early trauma. My approach always starts with the parent, because you are the most powerful healing resource in your child’s life.
What does a typical session look like?
We meet virtually, and I tailor sessions to your family’s needs. Sometimes I meet with parents alone, sometimes with parent and child together. We explore both practical strategies and deeper nervous system work to support healing at the root.
How do I get started?
Call Abby for a free, hour-long, phone consultation at (626) 755-4059 or visit www.welcomehomefamilytherapy.com to learn more and schedule a time to talk.