Online Family Therapy in California to Help Adults and Children with Playfulness

When families reach out to me for online family therapy in California, one of the first things I often introduce—sometimes to their surprise—is playfulness. Not just play, but playfulness as a nervous system state. This shift is at the heart of how I help parents become the healers in the home.

As parents, we tend to focus on correcting behavior, setting boundaries, and enforcing consequences. And while structure is important, what often gets overlooked is the healing power of joy, silliness, and connection. Playfulness can turn power struggles into shared laughter, and it has the power to transform a stressful moment into an opportunity for bonding.

Why Playfulness Works: The Science Behind It

Playfulness isn’t just fun—it’s physiological. When our nervous system is in a state of play, it’s nearly impossible for it to be in a state of threat or stress at the same time. In other words, playfulness invites regulation.

This is why I often coach parents to introduce games and physical movement during dysregulated or challenging moments. Simple actions like crawling on the floor, walking backwards, tickling, hopping, playing chase, or even starting a spontaneous game of hide-n-seek can help a child’s nervous system shift from protection mode into connection mode.

But let’s go beyond the usual. Here are a few more playful ideas I often suggest:

• Pretending the floor is lava while getting dressed.

• Making silly animal noises during tooth brushing.

• Singing instructions in opera or using robot voices.

• Creating obstacle courses to get from one room to another.

• Turning mealtime into a pretend restaurant with menus and waitstaff.

• Wearing socks on hands to make clean-up time a puppet show.

• Whispering everything for five minutes like you’re on a top-secret spy mission.

When parents get playful, they send their child a powerful cue: You are safe with me.

That sense of safety is everything. It’s what allows children to soften, trust, and co-regulate. It’s also what makes cooperation more likely and power struggles less intense.

Protection Mode vs. Connection Mode

Robyn Gobbel, a mentor and trusted voice in the world of trauma-informed parenting, reminds us that the nervous system is always doing one of two things: protecting or connecting. When a child is in protection mode—whether they’re yelling, hiding, refusing, or melting down—they’re not misbehaving. They’re dysregulated. They’re signaling that they don’t feel safe or seen in that moment.

By contrast, connection mode is where curiosity, learning, and cooperation live. And the fastest way to shift from protection into connection? You guessed it—playfulness.

This shift isn’t just for kids. Adults need it too. I’ve worked with many parents who have forgotten what it feels like to laugh, to play, to be silly without judgment. Reclaiming playfulness is often just as healing for them as it is for their child.

The Role of Online Family Therapy in California

You might be wondering—how does online family therapy in California help with something like playfulness? Isn’t therapy supposed to be serious?

Not the way I practice it.

My approach is rooted in interpersonal neuroscience and polyvagal theory. It’s also deeply relational. Through secure, guided sessions, we explore your family’s nervous system patterns, your parenting habits, and your child’s needs. Then we co-create strategies that build safety, connection, and trust—often beginning with small shifts that make a big impact. Like playfulness.

We also unpack what might be getting in the way. If you grew up in a home where silliness was dismissed or where emotions were met with control, it may feel vulnerable—even risky—to lead with play. That’s okay. We work through those barriers together, at your pace.

Real Moments, Real Shifts

I remember a parent I worked with who described their mornings as “chaotic and combative.” Their child resisted everything—getting dressed, brushing teeth, putting on shoes. After learning about the nervous system and playfulness, this parent tried something new. Instead of barking commands, they turned it into a silly race—who could hop to the bathroom the fastest? Who could brush their teeth while humming a silly song?

Another family I worked with invented “invisible paint” to help their child put on sunscreen. They’d mime painting their face with pretend colors and narrate the process with exaggerated accents. The child giggled—and cooperated.

It wasn’t about tricking their child into behaving. It was about shifting the energy from stress to safety. From protection to connection.

These small, playful moments accumulate. They build trust. And trust is the foundation for everything else—emotional safety, healthy attachment, and long-term resilience.

Ready to Bring More Playfulness into Your Home? Contact Abby

If your home feels heavy, disconnected, or filled with conflict, I want you to know there is another way. You don’t have to parent from control, fear, or reactivity. You can parent from connection, play, and trust. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

I offer online family therapy in California to help parents like you shift from survival mode to connection mode. Whether you're raising a neurodiverse child, navigating adoption dynamics, or healing your own parenting wounds, I'm here to support you.

Let’s explore if we’re a good fit. I offer a free, hour-long phone consultation to talk through your concerns and goals.

Call me at (626) 755-4059

Learn more at www.welcomehomefamilytherapy.com

My motto: I help parents become the healers in the home.

Let’s bring more lightness, laughter, and healing into your family—one playful moment at a time.