When Parenting Feels Like a Storm, Start with Your Senses
I still remember the night my daughter melted down over a broken crayon. Not because she was being dramatic—but because, in her neurodivergent brain, it felt like the world was crumbling. I sat on the floor with her sobbing in my lap, heart pounding, and absolutely no idea what to do. Decades of parenting knowledge and trauma training felt like they had all left the building.
Then something whispered through the fog: Come back to the room.
That’s when I reached for the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding tool—not because I wanted to feel Zen, but because I needed a lifeline.
A Grounding Tool That Actually Works in Real-Life ADHD Chaos
The 5-4-3-2-1 technique isn’t flashy. It’s not trending. But it’s real. And in the middle of an ADHD-fueled tantrum, an autism meltdown, or a gifted child spiraling into anxiety, that’s what we need. Something real.
5 things you can see – A crusty dish on the counter. The pink marker cap. My chipped nail polish. Her glitter shoes. The dent in the fridge.
4 things you can touch – My jeans. The dog’s fur. The corner of the rug. Her soft curls.
3 things you can hear – The hum of the dishwasher. Her breath. My own heartbeat.
2 things you can smell – The toast I forgot to eat. Her bubblegum shampoo.
1 thing you can taste – The stale coffee from this morning.
These tiny details didn’t solve the meltdown. But they brought me back. And that changed everything.
Why Self-Regulation Is the First Step in Parenting ADHD and 2e Kids
When you’re parenting a child with ADHD, autism, or gifted intensity, emotional chaos can feel like the norm. You’re constantly pivoting, buffering, translating, trying to be three steps ahead.
But here’s the thing: if we’re not grounded, we can’t offer safety.
Regulation isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a lifeline. And it starts with you.
Using simple grounding tools like this one helps you:
- Shift out of survival mode
- Model calm for your child’s overactive nervous system
- Build co-regulation, not conflict
- Create the safety that helps neurodivergent kids thrive
Online Parent Therapy in California for ADHD and Neurodiverse Families
You’re not making this up. You’re not overreacting. Parenting a neurodivergent child is more complex. And when your child is struggling, it impacts your mental health, too.
That’s why I offer online parent therapy in California—a safe, flexible space where parents can process, strategize, and come back to themselves.
With over 30 years of experience in child welfare and family therapy, co-parenting after divorce, and post-adoption support. I help parents understand what’s going on beneath their child’s behavior—and how to respond from a place of clarity, not chaos.
What to Expect from Parenting Therapy for ADHD and Neurodivergent Families
Our sessions might include:
- Learning how ADHD, sensory needs, or trauma affect your child’s behavior
- Practicing body-based tools like grounding and co-regulation
- Exploring your own nervous system and emotional triggers
- Creating plans for hard moments that honor both structure and compassion
I use a trauma-informed, neuroscience-based approach that integrates:
- Polyvagal theory (understanding nervous system states)
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB)
- Practical strategies for executive functioning and emotional regulation.
This is parent therapy designed to support you—not to fix your child, but to help you thrive in the wild and sacred work of parenting them.
You Deserve Support, Too
If your days swing between love and confusion, joy and burnout—you are not alone. Parenting intense, beautiful, misunderstood kids is hard.
But you can do it with support. And it starts with remembering that your regulation is part of the medicine.
Start with your senses. Come back to yourself. Let’s build something steadier together.
My motto: I help parents become the healers in the home.
Contact Abby
We will have a brief screening phone call and if it feels right, we will schedule an hour-long, free phone consultation to see if we are a good match for therapy. This is my offering to you, at a time when you are struggling the most.
Book a free Discovery Call: Click here
Frequently Asked Questions About Parenting Neurodivergent Children
What is the best therapy for parenting a child with ADHD?
The best therapy focuses on supporting the parent’s nervous system first. I use online parent therapy grounded in trauma-informed, neuroscience-based approaches—including Polyvagal Theory, CBT, and IPNB—to help you regulate yourself so you can co-regulate your child.
How can I stay calm when my neurodivergent child is melting down?
Start with your own body. Simple grounding tools like the 5-4-3-2-1 method help you come out of fight-or-flight and return to a calm, connected state. When you’re grounded, your child’s nervous system can borrow your calm. In our sessions, we practice these tools together.
Can online parent therapy really help with ADHD parenting?
Yes. Online parent therapy in California is a flexible and effective way to get real-time strategies, support, and insight—without needing to leave home. I specialize in helping parents of neurodivergent kids feel more empowered and less overwhelmed.
Is it normal to feel exhausted all the time as a parent of a child with ADHD?
Completely. Parenting kids with big emotions and intense needs often leads to emotional burnout. You're constantly buffering, managing, and navigating behaviors that others don’t understand. Therapy gives you a place to exhale and rebuild your capacity.
How do I know if my child’s behaviors are related to ADHD or something else?
We’ll explore that together. In online parent therapy, I help you decode what’s really driving the behavior—whether it’s ADHD, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, or developmental trauma. Once you understand the "why," you can respond with more clarity and less panic.
What can I do when discipline doesn't work?
Traditional discipline often fails with neurodivergent kids because it misses the root cause. In therapy, we focus on connection before correction—building safety, teaching regulation, and setting boundaries in ways that actually work for differently wired brains.
How can I help my child when I feel triggered?
That’s the heart of our work. When your own nervous system is activated, it’s hard to offer calm to your child. In therapy, we identify your triggers, strengthen your self-regulation, and build plans for hard moments—so you don’t have to white-knuckle it alone.
Do both parents need to attend therapy?
Not necessarily. Many of my clients attend solo. However, when both parents are on the same page, the impact can be exponential. I welcome co-parents who are open to learning and growing together in support of their neurodivergent child.
What can I do while I am waiting for therapy to start?
Practice the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Grounding Tool and this article with additional grounding resources to give your nervous system cues of safety. All parenting starts with self-regulation.