What exactly does it mean to respond, rather than react?

When we react, our nervous system is taking over without our permission. Our primitive reflexes have kicked in. We all know what this experience is like. Before we realize it, our body seems to be doing things we did not choose to do.

These things can be actions or words, and most definitely they are accompanied by sensations inside our bodies. From these reactions, we search for meaning, after the fact. Most times, our reactions or reflexes are the first sign that we are under distress. Unconsciously, we perceive we are in danger.

When we perceive that we are in danger when there is no actual danger, it is not a good feeling. In essence, our brains are tricking us based on how we are sensing the situation, with the influence of our past experiences. 

In my work with parents, I help bring these unconscious awakenings of memory and sensation into awareness. When you can notice the very first signs of dysregulation, it is easier to change or choose what you want to do. 

Harsh words can be toned down, the "mom/dad" face can be relaxed, and tension can be released, to offer cues of safety to your child. This will help you stay in connection mode, where all healing and growth happens.

If you are the parent of a challenging and complex child and would like help to notice and change your reaction, then give me a call.

(626) 755-4059

I offer a free phone consultation.

My motto: I help parents become the healers in the family.

www.welcomehomefamilytherapy.com