When Your Child Hurts, You Hurt Too: A Therapist’s Reflection

As a parent, you’ve probably felt it—that heavy ache in your chest when your child is struggling. It’s more than empathy. It’s a biological pull, a nervous system that literally syncs up with theirs. In my 30 years as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and as a recovering strict parent myself, I’ve seen how deeply a child’s pain becomes a parent’s pain.

I’ve worked with countless families through online family therapy in California, and one thing I know is this: our hearts beat in rhythm with our kids. When they’re dysregulated, we’re dysregulated. When they’re calm, we can breathe. When they hurt, we hurt.

Early in my parenting, I believed that clear rules and strong consequences would shape my kids into well-adjusted humans. But when I started parenting children with developmental trauma and neurodivergence, I learned that behavior isn’t always a choice. It’s often a stress response—a signal from a nervous system in survival mode.

These kids don’t need more consequences. They need more connection. And that’s what I help parents create.

What Makes Parenting Complex Kids So Overwhelming

If your child is gifted, autistic, ADHD, 2e, or has a trauma history, you know that traditional parenting advice often doesn’t work. You’re not just dealing with behavior—you’re managing meltdowns that come out of nowhere, sensitivities that don’t make sense, or endless negotiations that drain you by 10 a.m.

What I hear from parents all the time:

• "I feel like I’m walking on eggshells."

• "I love my child, but I don’t like parenting right now."

• "No one else really gets it."

Through online family therapy in California, I create a judgment-free space for you to exhale. Together, we explore how your child’s nervous system functions, what triggers their behavior, and how you can become their co-regulator instead of their enforcer.

The Benefits of Online Family Therapy in California

Online therapy makes it easier to get the help you need, without having to sit in traffic or scramble for childcare. I offer parenting therapy, parenting counseling, and therapy for parenting from the comfort of your home, anywhere in California.

My virtual therapy room is a calm space where you can show up messy, tired, frustrated—or full of hope. We’ll slow things down and work with what’s real, not what some parenting book says should be happening.

And for complex kids, the online setting often works better. Being in their own home helps children regulate more easily and allows us to explore dynamics in the actual environment where parenting happens.

My Parent-Focused Approach to Online Therapy

I use a blend of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB), polyvagal theory, trauma-informed therapy, and cognitive-behavioral strategies. My work is deeply informed by the neuroscience of co-regulation, rupture and repair, and attachment. We’re not just working on behavior—we’re building safety, trust, and connection from the inside out.

I’ve spent over three decades helping families—many through the child welfare system—who felt like they’d tried everything. And now, I run a fully virtual private practice called Welcome Home Family Therapy, serving families across the entire state of California.

In online family therapy, we:

• Decode baffling behaviors through a nervous system lens

• Build the parent-child connection using regulation-based tools

• Develop co-regulation strategies that actually work in hard moments

• Repair patterns that have been stuck for years

This is parent therapy that centers your lived experience and empowers you to make meaningful change at home.

Ready to Get the Support You Deserve?

If you’re hurting alongside your child, you don’t have to go it alone. The way forward is not through more discipline—it’s through deeper connection.

Let’s find a way to help your child feel safe, and to help you feel steady, grounded, and supported as their parent.

Call Abby at (626) 755-4059. I offer a free, hour-long consultation🔗 www.welcomehomefamilytherapy.com

I help parents become the healers in the home.

Frequently Asked Questions About Online Family Therapy in California

What if my child refuses to come to therapy?

That’s okay. I often begin working with parents directly. When you change the way you show up, everything shifts.

Do you take insurance?

I am a private-pay provider and do not accept insurance. However, I can provide documentation for out-of-network reimbursement if your plan offers that benefit.

How do I know if you’re the right therapist for my family?

That’s why I offer a free hour-long phone consultation. We’ll talk through what’s going on in your family and see if it feels like a fit.

Is online family therapy really as effective as in-person sessions?

Yes—and often even more so for families of neurodivergent kids. The convenience and comfort of home can lower stress and make therapy more accessible and consistent.