Parents today are raising children in an environment saturated with body comparison, food rules, and performance pressure. Many parents arrive in my practice terrified they are “missing something” or doing something wrong—especially when they notice changes in how their child eats, talks about their body, or relates to food.
Eating disorders are not about food. They are about coping. For children and teens, especially those who are anxious, neurodivergent, or highly sensitive, food can become a way to manage feelings that feel too big or unsafe to hold alone.
At Welcome Home Family Therapy, my work centers on helping parents understand what’s underneath these struggles—so home can become a place of safety rather than surveillance.
Why Eating Disorders Are Rising—and Why Parents Matter
Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are serious mental health conditions, much like anxiety or depression. They rarely emerge from a single cause. Instead, they grow at the intersection of biology, temperament, stress, trauma, cultural messaging, and relational dynamics.
While eating disorders often appear in adolescence, parents frequently notice early signs much younger: rigidity around food, obsessive body talk, calorie counting, or intense fear of weight gain. These patterns can show up in children as young as eight—and they affect boys and girls alike, though boys are often overlooked or discouraged from seeking help.
In Online Family Therapy in California, I help parents understand that prevention is not about controlling food. It’s about creating emotional safety, consistency, and connection at home.
How Family Dynamics Shape a Child’s Relationship With Food
Children learn how to relate to food by watching the adults around them. When food becomes a reward, a punishment, or a source of shame, children internalize the idea that nourishment is conditional.
Parents don’t cause eating disorders—but parental modeling matters.
In Parent Coaching Grounded in Brain Science, we explore how nervous system regulation, language, and parental self-awareness shape children’s internal worlds. This includes how parents talk about their own bodies, exercise, and health.
Instead of:
“I need to lose weight.”
We practice:
“I’m taking care of my body so I can feel strong and healthy.”
This subtle shift protects children from absorbing harmful beliefs while still honoring adult health needs.
Why Neurodivergent and Gifted Children Are More Vulnerable
Children who are neurodivergent, anxious, or gifted/2e often experience the world more intensely. Their nervous systems are more reactive, their self-criticism runs deeper, and their need for control can be stronger under stress.
Through Family Counseling for Parents of ADHD and Neurodiversity and Family Counseling for Gifted/2e, parents learn how rigidity around food can be a signal of overwhelm—not defiance—and how co-regulation reduces risk.
When Food Becomes a Way to Cope With Trauma or Transition
Major life transitions—divorce, loss, illness, or identity shifts—can destabilize a child’s sense of safety. In these moments, food may become the only thing that feels controllable.
In Online Family Trauma Therapy, parents are supported in understanding how unprocessed stress shows up somatically and behaviorally. For families navigating separation, Co-parenting Therapy Near Me helps reduce relational tension that children often carry internally.
For adoptive families, Post-Adoption Services provides specialized support around attachment, identity, and control—key themes in eating disorder vulnerability.
What Actually Helps: Shifting the Emotional Tone at Home
Parents often feel pressure to “monitor” or “fix” eating behaviors. While medical care is essential, healing requires something deeper: a home environment that feels emotionally safe.
Through Online Parent Therapy When Parenting Is Hard, parents learn how to:
Respond with calm instead of panic
Reduce power struggles around food
Focus on effort, character, and connection—not appearance
Repair quickly after ruptures
This is how home becomes a place where children don’t need to control food to feel okay.
My motto: Helping parents become the healers in the home.
Let’s Talk First. No Pressure.If you're still reading, maybe you're feeling a spark of hope. Or maybe you're skeptical, and that’s okay too.
To get started. we will have a brief screening phone call and if it feels right, we will schedule an hour-long, free phone consultation to see if we are a good match for therapy. This is my offering to you, at a time when you are struggling the most.
Book a free Discovery Call: Click here
FAQs
How do I know if my child has an eating disorder or is just picky?
Extreme rigidity, anxiety around food, calorie counting, body obsession, or distress during meals are signs to seek professional guidance.
Can parents accidentally cause eating disorders?
No. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions. Parents can, however, play a powerful role in prevention and healing.
Should I talk to my child directly about weight or food concerns?
Yes—but carefully. Conversations should focus on feelings, stress, and safety, not numbers or appearance.
Do boys get eating disorders too?
Absolutely. Boys and young men are often underdiagnosed due to stigma and misconceptions.
Can family therapy really help with eating disorders?
Yes. Parent-involved therapy improves outcomes by addressing the relational and emotional context in which eating disorders develop.
What can I do while waiting for therapy to start?
My mentor, Robyn Gobbel, has a podcast called "The Baffling Behavior Show." This will give you a good feeling of how we will be working together. You can listen here.
Welcome Home
Eating disorders thrive in secrecy and fear. Healing happens in safety, relationship, and presence.
When parents feel steadier, children feel safer. When home feels safe, food no longer has to carry emotional weight.
That’s what Welcome Home means—helping families return to themselves and to each other.
You Deserve Support: Contact Abby
You don’t have to do this alone. Parent coaching can give you the tools, support, and confidence to handle even the toughest parenting moments.
We will have a brief screening phone call, and if it feels right, we will schedule an hour-long, free phone consultation to see if we are a good match for therapy. This is my offering to you, at a time when you are struggling the most.
Book a Free Discovery Call: Click here