From Control to Connection: Online Family Therapy in California
Why Strict Parenting Doesn’t Work for Complex Kids
I used to believe that structure and control were the cornerstones of good parenting. Like many parents, I thought if I held the line firmly enough—set the right rules, followed through on consequences, stayed consistent—everything else would fall into place.
But raising complex, emotionally intense children quickly taught me otherwise.
When my child’s behaviors became unpredictable, explosive, or emotionally shut down, my old strategies failed me. The firmer I held on, the more distant we became. I felt like I was losing the connection that mattered most.
That’s when everything changed. I realized that parenting wasn’t just about behavior management. It was about nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and learning how to repair after rupture.
Parenting as a Nervous System Experience
Neurodivergent children—those with ADHD, autism, giftedness, 2e traits, or trauma histories—experience the world through a heightened lens. What looks like defiance is often dysregulation. What feels like avoidance is often a nervous system in protection mode.
I had to learn to regulate myself before I could ask my child to do the same. That meant noticing my own tension, pausing before reacting, and letting go of the illusion that control would create calm. Instead, calm came through co-regulation—through showing up with steadiness, presence, and empathy.
This approach didn’t come easily. But over time, I saw something shift. My child trusted me more. I learned to apologize. We repaired the ruptures instead of stacking resentment.
How Online Family Therapy Helps You Reconnect
In my practice, Welcome Home Family Therapy, I now support other parents walking this same path. I provide online family therapy in California to families who are exhausted by power struggles, confused by their child’s behaviors, and desperate to rebuild a sense of trust and ease.
Through a trauma-informed lens and grounded in the science of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB), polyvagal theory, and cognitive-behavioral therapy, I help parents:
Understand the nervous system behind the behavior
Learn how to co-regulate instead of control
Rebuild emotional safety through repair
Respond with compassion even when behavior feels hurtful
Online family therapy offers the flexibility to meet in your real environment—where challenges and breakthroughs actually happen. No commutes. No added stress. Just focused, guided support to help you reconnect with your child.
Reframing Parenting as a Relationship, Not a Role
Parenting isn't about perfection. It's about presence. It's about showing your child, again and again, that they are safe, loved, and seen—even when things fall apart. Especially when things fall apart.
Strict parenting taught me about control. Connected parenting taught me about healing. And that healing changed everything.
If you're feeling unseen, unheard, or exhausted by your child’s complex behaviors, you are not alone. There is a way forward—and it begins with connection.
FAQs: Online Family Therapy for Complex Kids
Is online therapy as effective as in-person therapy?
Yes. In fact, many families find online family therapy more effective because we’re meeting in your natural environment, where patterns play out and support is most needed.
What if my child doesn’t want to participate?
I often start by working with parents alone. When your approach changes, your child’s behavior often follows. It’s powerful work, even without their direct participation.
Do you specialize in neurodivergent children?
Absolutely. I’ve worked with children with ADHD, autism, giftedness, trauma, and complex emotional needs for more than 30 years.
What is co-regulation and why does it matter?
Co-regulation means using your calm nervous system to help your child feel safe. When they’re too overwhelmed to self-regulate, your presence teaches them how.
Do you accept insurance?
I’m a private-pay provider. This allows us to work deeply and flexibly, without limits placed by insurance companies. I do offer superbills for out-of-network reimbursement.
About Me
I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over three decades of experience supporting families with challenging and complex children. I bring a deep understanding of developmental trauma, neurodiversity, and the healing power of relationship. Through online family therapy in California, I help parents shift from fear and frustration into connection, repair, and regulation.
If you’re ready to explore how this work can help your family, I invite you to reach out.
Call for a free, hour-long phone consultation, to see if I am the right therapist for you or your family.
(626) 755-4059
My motto: I help parents become the healers in the home.